Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
