she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she looked like the before picture.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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