When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
