I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
