you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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