Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
