If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
