And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize