i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
