She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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