Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize