I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize