I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
