I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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