So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
