this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
