I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
organizing the empties. That sober.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize