Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
