It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
