its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i want to swaddle you in tequila
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
