I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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