it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
