dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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