I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
