Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
