Sponge bath it is.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize