i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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