Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize