on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
