I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
