i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Just puked most of my soul out..
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
