I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
