my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
