Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
