in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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