I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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