Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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