i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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