i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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