Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
