Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
