I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
