was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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