In the future we'll all be gay
Tell her she can't have a vagina
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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