Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
