every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
