you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
