That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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