Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize