I'm jealous of your bromance
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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