Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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