just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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