My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
