worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
