Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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