She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
