He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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