So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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