this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
